Warning: Cattiness in Courtroom 12

A few days ago I did some volunteer work for my company, sitting as a member of a “fake jury” and critiquing lawyers on their “fake delivery” of opening and closing statements. The attorneys use a “fake case” to practice their courtroom skills, and in some instances, they will actually practice these skills in front of folks who get paid to pretend like they actually care.

For years my company has relied on groups of retirees for this service, paying them a small fee and feeding them breakfast for their time. I got recruited because they were short a few senior citizens (don’t ask my why), and they needed another person to sit in. Eager to get out of sitting at my desk, I agreed.

When I walked into the gathering room at 8 o’clock that morning, I could already see that these seniors were settled into their social cliques. They had separated to different tables, munching their bagels and holding their private conversations.

When we moved into our individual “fake courtrooms,” I got placed with three white-haired ladies, of varying ages and states of hearing loss, and sat and listened as they chatted about their upcoming social activities.

Apparently they were going to the dinner theater. And apparently, one of their fellow retirement-village residents had waited too long to purchase her tickets. Suddenly, everyone was talking about this woman and rattling off the times that she had “forgotten” something or had screwed something up. I was shocked by the downright maliciousness in these women’s comments, talking about a friend of theirs who was getting on in age, and in their words, “really failing fast.”

I tried to suppress a chuckle as I sat and thought about the irony of this—these women, breaking down someone else’s “failings,” which were not such a distant prospect in their own lives. And really? Their behavior was not so different than what we experienced on the playground. When we’re threatened by what the world is about to offer us, we find the weakest link and start picking, just to assure ourselves that we are not so bad off.

For me it was a reality check. I thought I had left that cattiness behind in high school. Now I know it’s just a few short years before I’m right back in the middle of it.