Friday: Bad Manners at the Movies

I like going to see movies, and I don't mind going to see them alone. What's the point of having a date? You're there to watch the movie, not talk to the person (ya hear that, movie-talkers*?).

Today I was in the new theater in town, the one with stadium seating and everything. The problem with these theaters is that now you have to enter from the front, in full view of all of the already-seated audience members. Before you could sneak in the back and find a spot without drawing too much attention to yourself. Not that I have a problem with doing things on my own, I just don't want to have to give anyone that "yeah, i'm alone, you got a problem with that?" glare (must be leftover from city living).

So I found the closest seat--careful not to make eye contact with anyone--which happened to be in front of three chatty older ladies. A moment later, an older gentleman walked in the theater and took the chair two seats down from me.

At this point I'm not worried. Until the opening credits start. Chatty Cathies 1,2, and 3 start up their conversation again. I breathe deep, and think that they'll have to stop when the movie actually starts, right? Then Mr. Older Gentleman starts up his own conversation. With SLEEP. This guy seriously came in, sat down, and started snoring. Seriously? Why would you pay $8 to take a nap?

I sit there for awhile, thinking about moving up a row, when someone a few chairs down (past Mr. Snores-a-Lot) starts shaking the dregs of their Slurpee and making that whistling sound with their straw. The last straw, as far as I was concerned. So I picked up my stuff and moved.

After that the movie was great. If only I could see movies totally alone, minus the annoying strangers with bad manners. And hey, at least it wasn't as bad as the time I was watching Snatch by myself and was almost molested by that creepy stranger who had clearly misinterpreted the title. Talk about bad manners.

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*As a sidenote, my friend Mindy actually got into it once with some chatty people sitting behind her at a movie. "I wish you wouldn't have talked so much," she said as they were walking out. "Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" they replied. "Whatever, you're just a bunch of, of, movie-talkers!" Not Mindy's wittiest moment, but I think she imbued her jibe with just the right amount of passion.