Bad insect jokes

RL and I were eating dinner outside the other day when I noticed that a spider had strung a web between the legs of our BBQ. I said, "Honey, look! There's a spider all up in your grill."

The other night I couldn't sleep and came downstairs to watch TV for awhile. It didn't help much, and I wasn't feeling any more sleepy. As I was laying on the couch, lights off, and all the sudden I see a little shape moving across the floor. I frantically turn the light on to find a millipede-type thing racing around the living room (now I'm definitely not sleeping). I get kind of freaked out because I really don't like things with lots of legs, and search for a glass and a piece of paper to trap him and take him outside (because really, something with that many legs is just not something you want to squish into the carpet). Before I can do that, though, Legsy has hidden under the couch. Trying to ignore the fact that he's still in the house, I decide to just go upstairs to my hopefully bug-free bed.

The next morning I tell RL about it, and ask him if millipedes are dangerous. "I don't think so...unless they kicked you to death with all those legs." Me, with an image of a cartoon millipede karate chopping my leg: "You mean like a kung-fu millipede?"

Okay, maybe it's not that funny, but you have to imagine it.

my family's finest moments

The other morning RL and I were sitting on the couch (watching CBS Sunday Morning, no doubt), and Little the cat got the fire in her blood. Below is a picture of the darling girl, just so you have a good visual.

Anyway, she was running around the house like a crazy cat--from the patio through the living room and on her laps in the upstairs bedrooms. At one point while she was running around upstairs, I got up to close the screen door to the patio. Unfortunately I didn't tell her that. So RL and I watch as she races down the stairs, flies past us, and...bonk, right into the screen door. Apparently she's just not all that smart. It took her awhile to finally face us again (I think she was a little humiliated, honestly, and probably had a bit of a headache). We laughed for awhile about that one.

The next day, RL had his own embarassing moment. I was sleeping in, and he graciously got up early and rode his bike to get us some breakfast. He brought it home, fixed up a tray so I could have breakfast in bed, then decided to heat up the syrup for the pancakes. It was too tall to fit in the microwave, so he layed it on its side. But then he didn't want syrup to leak out all over the microwave, so he thought he should have something to prop it up. So he looks around, and, right in front of him is his wallet. What better prop? Good size, right shape.

So he wedges his wallet in there, right underneath the syrup, and puts the microwave on for 30 seconds. When he pulls it out, he notices that it smells a little funny, like burnt leather (hmm, interesting). When he finally tells me about it a few hours later, I say, don't you think your credit cards might have suffered some damage too? And then he starts thinking about the fact that there's METAL on the back of them, and starts worrying that maybe they won't work.

Fast forward to us at Nordstrom Rack a few hours later, where RL is purchasing a new wallet. He pulls the credit cards out of the old one and realizes that there have been little explosions all over the back of them, and that no, they don't work. The stink is horrible too, and the girl checking him out is less than pleased that she has to manually enter his information while holding this foul-smelling piece of plastic.

I'm sure I did something equally embarassing this week, but I just can't seem to remember it...

Big Fat Will Pinch You

Another funny photo--RL's relations have an affinity for picking up stray cats. This one happened to come with six toes. His name's Big Fat and I luff him.

It's like we were in National Geographic or something

Yeah, yeah, it's been awhile, but I've been busy. Last weekend I was busy attending wedding #3 of the summer (only one more to go!) in beautiful Jackson, Wyoming.

The highlights of the trip:

1) Staying in a fantabulous condo at Snow King resort (discounted courtesy of the bride and groom's connections). The master bathroom suite was bigger than our whole upstairs. And filled with Wyoming cowboy goodness.

2) RL's debut as "reverend" for the new couple. (He's already booked for several next year. What's the deal?)

3) Last but not least, an amazing float trip down the Snake River, at the foot of the Tetons. I was promised wildlife, but nothing like this. Within the first hour of the trip we looked over to the forest on the side of the river to see a herd of at least 100 bison tromping through the woods. We were all in shock, until, 10 minutes later, we see the bison actually crossing the water in front of us! We all got a little nervous when it looked like we were on a collision course for the guys just heading into the water. Everyone in my boat paddled quickly to make sure we didn't accidentally run into one of their horns (and end up in the water with them), and made it within 10 feet of them. A woman on our boat got these amazing pictures as we were passing them.








I have never before seen bison in the wild, and to come this close felt pretty surreal. We followed it up by an incredible bald eagle siting, and then a peek at a moose just hanging out in the woods (doubtless trying to not be seen).

Thank you, Wyoming!